I never bothered with that malarkey until I moved to Canada in 2009 and had no real-life friends to play with, other than check-shirted chaps who didn’t realise that NHL hockey games peaked in 1994. I felt I had torn through the fabric of time to spy on the future. I was considering settling down with Sensible Soccer, but then along came Fifa in all its 3D isometric finery, promising four players the ride of their lives. Kick Off was the one that got away, because I couldn’t perform when it mattered. Match Day was my first love when I was 12, and I shared my time between it and its cerebral sibling Football Manager. I’d had football game relationships before. Years before Tim found Dawn, I found Fifa International Soccer on the Mega Drive. But then a switch was flicked and the earth moved for me. A badly-lit office and a grey plastic table strewn with spaghetti’d cables did not promise much.
Electronic Arts invited a motley crew from GamesMaster, the TV show that I was presenting at the time, down to see what they claimed would be the future of gaming. But in 1993, I lost my heart in an office in Slough. It is always tragic when a love turns sour, especially one that has lasted longer than any other adult relationship.